When I opened my blogsite and saw that I haven't written in almost a month, I was forced to confront my lifelong tendency to procrastinate. That's when the self-bullying (see previous post) started.
The good news: I walked away from the bully (myself) before getting beaten up and beaten down. Instead I thought about what's kept me from staying on my blogging schedule. Certainly, there's been lots of traveling, socializing, and family activities. But truth be told, I've also been discouraged about my work. Being in that state of mind naturally affects my energy for blogging.
As some of you are aware, I recently completed a memoir called "Trouble in River City." It's based on my experiences growing up in Hastings-on-Hudson N.Y. and how some of those experiences led to mental health challenges in my adult life. About five years ago I started what I call my "bullying project." I interviewed about 45 women classmates from middle and high school about their experiences of the social scene in our schools in the 1970s. The project led to two articles -- the first was published in Lilith magazine; the second ran in Huff Post, and went viral with more than 1.6 million views in just a few days. After hearing from so many readers who identified with my story, I expanded my article into a full-length book. It was completed in January 2024 and I've been sending queries and chapters out to agents and publishers ever since. I've gotten a handful of rejections, but also a few requests to see the full manuscript. One of those publishers got back to me several months later with a rejection. Three others, including one acquiring editor who said the book was "under active consideration" have not gotten back to me with any follow-up information. In a fit of frustration, I reached out to all three editors a couple of weeks ago (a big no-no in the publishing industry) and none of them responded. Not even a one-sentence email saying "No news yet." I've read enough, online and in writers' Facebook groups to know that no response does not mean no. Editors, agents and publishers are all incredibly busy. In fact, writers should never bother them, lest they be blacklisted. But really? Too busy for even a sentence? It's hard to keep one's hopes up under the circumstances.
Meanwhile, my freelance work has dried up and I'm not making enough money. Now that I'm 62, I'm seeing that editors aren't jumping to hire me. They want pitches of stories that are geared toward people in their 20s and 30s. I imagine when they see the length of my resume (along with the fact that it's probably formatted in an ancient style), they hit delete.
There are ways I could try to get around age bias -- hire a resume expert; learn more about pop culture and Gen-Z and millennial lingo. But to tell you the truth, I'm not interested. Yet, making a career change at my age is even more challenging than trying to get up to speed on the ever-changing trends of younger generations. So, what to do when you've no interest in retiring and still feel you have a lot to offer?
About a week ago, I made a decision to go back to my former career as a psychotherapist. I'm not giving up writing. I'll still write for Jmore, my few other clients and any other pub or organization that wants my services. I still hope to get my memoir published. But meanwhile, I'll be busy taking the many continuing education courses I'll need to be certified to practice psychotherapy in New York State.
In the past, when I've considered this, I've felt that I was no longer qualified to do therapy. After all, I've been out of the field for 25 years or so. But when I considered it recently, I had a different take on the matter. Now I believe that my lived experience, the interview skills I've honed as a journalist, the time I've spent in my own therapy, and the natural talent I have for understanding people will serve me well. I'm not going to approach this the way I once might have by undervaluing myself for being out of practice, or telling myself I'm not ready without doing another degree. One of the good things about aging (and lots of therapy) is knowing your own worth. It's taken me decades, but I'm finally getting there. Wish me good luck, and thanks for reading. Let me know if you're facing similar challenges.
Great post about responding to change and the ways in which we "move on" in life. When one door appears to close we sometimes notice another door that we thought was unavailable and then realize it's an option. Good luck for sure on the therapy career. You certainly have a lot to offer in that arena, and lived experience is important in that field - probably moreso than book knowledge.
This is a wonderful next step. One that does not in anyway close the door to your writing. Probably the opposite!!